Now I am sure all of the parents out there knew exactly what I was talking about just by reading the title.
To all of the childless people out there.Keep it that way...have no children! You'll never be able to express yourself like you want to when you have a wild romp in the sack.Trust me on this one!
Have you ever tried not to be noisy when you are having an orgasm so intense that the sheets and half the mattress are stuck up your ass because your cheeks are tightly clamped together? Let me tell you it is hard to do without breaking at least half a dozen blood vessels in your brain.
Try being quiet when your man is dining out between your thighs.As your teeth and lips clamp tightly together to hold back the moans so do your legs.Thus crushing his skull as your hands squeeze his head with a grip from hell that almost pops his eyes out at a rate of 100 miles per hour.
Being on top riding the love torpedo doesn't make it any easier to silence yourself either. In an attempt to keep all verbal noises in you tilt your head back and begin to pant heavily.In return you get so damn lightheaded you have to take a couple of noisy deep breaths to catch your composure. Shit! Did the kids hear that?
Does stuffing the tube steak in your mouth keep you quiet? Hell to the NO! It only causes you to make a pffffffffp type flapping sound when your lips vibrate across his ball sack as you release the pleasure poofs of air that escaped from around his meat that is down your throat.WTF!
So parents,either go get a room at some cheap hotel or buy your kids some pretty damn good ear plugs so you can enjoy yourselves for once.
I for one am sick and tired of having sore fucking ribs and lungs from trying to keep quiet.One reason the kids are going to Grandma's tonight...
The neighbors can feel free to turn their televisions up...or NOT!
22 Kissed My Ass:
Thank goodness for Grandmas! Hope you have a fabulously noisy time ;-) x
but really, why be quiet? unless they're really young (and would think something was wrong), don't you want them to know how much fun you're having?
no such thing as silent sex as much as you try....luckily my stepson was outside long enough yesterday for us to get 'noisy' ha ha (my girls are w their dad for 7 wks)
LOL. Great timing. That was my room last night with the Planner.
When they are young, it sucks.
Example:
Our room is the only room upstairs. Cannot see into my room unless you go up the stairs and back through the hallway. So there WAS no door on my bedroom doorway at bottom of steps.
When little one was about say 5, he came to me one day and said. "Mommy, why where you hurting Daddy last night?" I being a good Mommy asked, "What do you mean hurt Daddy? I didn't hurt Daddy?" Son: "Well why where you grabbing his head and hair and kicking him in the head." WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!.....you are going to HOMEDEPO...NOW!
Door installed same day. I am assuming he heard us have some "fun" and saw the old man going down on me and well...in his eyes, I guess I was beating him up in some sort of head lock.
So, Pre-Po has sound advice. It's either no kids or get a cheap hotel room, or easy healthy grandparents with a spare room for rodents...err I mean children. Those are your choices, If you want to have fun that is.
You know what I hate just as much as that? Squeaky bed. We had a headboard situation that was so noiy, I made the Evil Twin put the bed only on rails. Now, there is a squeak on the rails. I need WD40.
That blow job thing sounded like it might be damned enjoyable... for him!
This post made my nipples hard.
oh man when you said pop the blood vessels in your brain, that is so me. I get so light headed after I try to stiffle the noise. lol
a small pillow to scream into helps me on occasion. Although don't make it a feather pillow cuz if you inhale to sharply you will choke on a dam feather.
Absolutely not! Sex is noisy and the kids either stick their heads under the pillow or move out.
Mind you Caz did once stick a pillow over my head in mid bonk. I thought she'd turned kinky but apparently Jax had woke up. Shame. It was quite good fun actually.
Shit I can't even remember the last time I made noise during sex. I still have a two year old sleeping in my room!
GARRRRR!
Kitty-Oh I plan on it!
Janet-No because then they keep knocking on the damn door asking what is wrong!
Ciara-You go girl!
Mike-You go boy!
M.I.-Oh shit! I am laughing so hard here!
Wife-Got the friggin squeaky bed too!Hate it!
Mike-His eys get all googly so I suppose it is.
Jay-Can I see them?
Burfica-All I have is feather pillows.Those bastards poke the shit out of your face let me tell you!
4-Glad you ha fun!
Leighann-Oh gaaaawd! Poor girl you!
Or, get a big house
That's just great ... I thought my granddaughter was visiting overnight so Papa and Nana could have fun! I thought my daughter and her hubby were in a bit of a rush to get going ... hmmm???
So that's what that loud screaming noise I heard outside last night in Columbus. Explains a lot.
I thank you on behalf of your children for keeping it quiet in their presence. Hearing your mom calling to God can be traumatic...I know this...still have that nervous twitch to prove it.
hey girl, got your comments on my xanga! i know have a new makeup site, but my xanga will still be for my blogs, so yeah i know isee all thsese makeup things to and want to buy! i never did get the video done, but i will try to get it sone tomorrow i promise!
love your openness (haha) with this one,. yeah having an older mom living with you isn't any easier too!
but i moan all i want! she doesn'ty like it, she can go out for a bit, or turn the tv way up!
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your comment
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Now all I need to do is win the lottery so I can buy all of this make-up you are making me want so badly!
Did you ever post the eye make-up video I asked you about? If you did I missed it when I was sick. Could you please send me the link to it if there is such one.
Thanks girlfriend!
Preposterous Ponderings
By the way..........NICE LOVE BITE! LOL
I wouldn't know about such things. The last time my wife made noise during sex was while she snored.
Um yeah. Reason #43 why I don't want to have kids.
I kid.
"Mommy, why do you and Daddy play the music so loud?"
"We were arguing dear. Didn't want you to worry."
Malach-True!True!
Joe-They were up to something for sure!
Ron-Did you enjoy it?
Doggy-LMFAO
Vixen-I couldn't stand living with one of my parents! No way!
Bum-Ha ha ha ha you poor man.
Random-Oh girl you crack me up!
I am *so* right there with you!!! Ranger's room is right next to his brothers room AND now that the nephew is in the house it makes me even more worried about my volume control. ha..ha..ha...
Ranger's comment "hey, the boy has to learn somehow" was followed by me saying "um.. it's not like he'll be in the room with us and I'm NOT a tutor! yeesh!" ;)
mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
fucking awesome post pp! love your work!
as for trying to keep quiet- i can so relate, and keeping quiet is hard... enough until you break the bed waking the knucklehead in the process!
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