Due to the fact that is has been well over a month since I last "mowed the lawn" AND my recent complaint about pads and pubic hair pulling...I decided it was time to take out the weed wacker and give the vajayjay a much needed trim. TMI? Perhaps, but it will all make sense soon enough.Stay with me!
Right before my bath earlier today I took out my brand spanking new bottle of chemical hair remover.Although there was a warning on the back about avoiding gentitals I still squeezed out a huge glob of it on my hand and proceeded to spread it all over my cooter bug. Waited a few minutes and then hopped my fat ass into the shower.
I decided to let it do it's magic a bit longer so I washed and conditoned the hair on my head and cleansed my body.Skipping the pink part.I was saving it for last. he he
Just as I was about to rinse the miracle cream off the lady lips the fucking water turned cold.Not below room temperature cold but ice water cold! I rinsed and washed sister sweet pooter fast as lightening and shut the water off.
I stepped out of the shower, dried my body,turned around to grab my clothes and got a glimpse of myself in the full length mirror.
WHAT THE HELL!!!!!
Between my legs there appeared to be a cancer patient undergoing intense chemo treatments.WTF?! Patches of hair here and there amongst the smooth bald spots.Lovely! No hope of me having tube steak smothered in shorts tonight!!! Damnit!
Apparently some water rinsed away the cream too soon.That or the cold water screwed up the chemical reaction that was suppose to take place.
I had no time to trim it up with the electric razor as we were already running late for an appointment.I prayed the whole time we were in the car that we wouldn't be in an accident. Imagine the look on the medical staffs faces if they were to get a load of the creature between my loins.
Turns out our hot water tank took a dump on us.We now have to have a new one installed.So I can't even reapply the bye bye pubic hair stuff until they get the tank up and going.Those bastards best make it quick or I will flash them and give them nightmares for the rest of their damn lives.
Does anyone know if there is a place that sells weaves for pubes?
47 Kissed My Ass:
Just spit my coffee out! You've no idea how much I needed a laugh - especially at somebody elses expense ;-)
Ta babe.
Wanna borrow some? Maybe I'll put em on e-bay.
Dinners pubes, not diseased, regularly trimmed, bids starting at $1 for 6.....
Well, just when I thought I'd seen about every version of "south of the border" hair-dos, you come up with this....
OH don't be a pussy (er, wussy?) Go to a salon and have the rest of them bitches waxed off. It will only hurt for a few seconds. If you compare that to childbirth, it's nothing!
What a mess to deal with!
Better yet, have hubby shave them off for you. Might be fun, never know!
You need to google the word 'merkin' ;-) x
oh that was funny as hell, Ponderings!! oh, i have no idea about pube weaves....but ya never know. weirder things have been on the market, ya know? look into it and let us know!! hehe.:)
Hope you have had a great weekend! Love ya. :)
"cooter bug".... LOL
Thanks for the visuals. :-)
Being a builder and maintenance man I would just run over to the hardware store, pick out a water heater and install it.
Wait, I don't have a hot water tank here. But I install them for others at times.
When I gut out and redo the next area I will put in a water tank and shower.
You could go old fashion and boil a gallon of water and use that.
AArghhh! The visuals are too weird! It sounds very tricky and picky to me!There's not much that makes me laugh out loud but you sure do!
Damn! You are like the female version of me. Seriously, we should like team up or something. Think of the pube trimming fun we could have!
Between my legs there appeared to be a cancer patient undergoing intense chemo treatments.
LMAO. I didn't see that coming. I was expecting to hear that you didn't get all the "pube remover" off your hands before washing your hair.
That wouldn't have been funny, but the patch-work pube patch is hilarious!
Luckily, I just finished a correspondence course on "Pubic Hair Coiffeurage". I'm ready for my first live case.
That was, um, interesting?
Surely you could find a rug for it on the internets...
Ha..haha.... You had your own "40 Year Old Virgin" moment, only your poor little tarantula was the one to suffer... did you at least have a "smiley face"..... ;)
Next time that happens at least try to leave whatever pubes are still there in the shape of an arrow pointing in the proper direction for anyone needing directions. ;-)
Maybe permanent laser hair removal is a better idea?
never tried to hair removal cream on my 'cooter bug' lol i'm afraid it would be worse than what happened to you.
i could always ask the ex if he's willing to give up some of his ass hairs for your pube weave. least you'll know it's real human hair and not synthetic lmfao
Thanks for making me laugh (once again). And, for all kinds of reasons, that is something I'd like to see ;)
Thanks fer th weed-wackin material.
I seriously needed this laugh....almost pissed my pants.
Can so relate to the cold shower, but we have pipes that won't thaw.
Haven't weed whacked the nether region in a few years.
Four-Sorry I'm broke!
Buffalo-There is always something new that comes along.
Malicious-Hell no to the wax job!
Kitty-Ha ha! Shiiiiit! That's just what I need!
Katie-You know you want a Do just like mine Katie!
BBC-You are the handy one now aren't you!
Malach-With the bad luck I have I'd end up scalding the kitty. ;o)
Aka-Always happy to make someone laugh....at me!
Chuck-What ki9nd of teaming up did you have in mind? :oD
Dan-Just think,all this madness is going on just hours from where you live.
Hungry-If you are brave enough then go for it!
Angryman-Did you get a nice visual?
Colonel-Suppose I could.
Piddy-No smiley,looks more like a damn punk rocker!
Jay-Grab all of the equipment and head on over here.You can laser it!
Ciara-Ewwwwwww! I'll pass on the ass hairs girl!
R.E.H.-Sorry,no pictures were taken of the nether regions.
Joey-Sure thing!
Mama-I bet you have one massive fro going on down there!
Who knows, ya might be startin' some kinda fashun trend.
Once again, gee whiz, a post like this needs pictures, damn it!
very very interesting... i was thinking that your patchwork cooch might look like the back of Jason Voorhee's head with summer hair (summer here, and summer there)...
Hey what you complaining about? Sounds like you just got a free Brazillian..(??)(!!)(?)
;->...
or was it not quite that neat and tidy... I didn't wish to ponder the more "close-up" details of your posting too much..??...?!?///thing
Wow...I did a three part post last week on hair but I never covered this aspect.....THANK GOD.
Bless your heart. I can't use that stuff on my legs even.
Dubya-You could be correct.
Mr.Fab-You go first!
Billy-Bingo!
Gledwood-Neat and tidy it was not!
Ve-That's cause you didn't try what I did.
Diva-It's some pretty rough stuff.
There is always the home wax kit. Or the blade.
mwaaaaaaaahahahahahaaaaaaaa...
get yourself one of these:
a merkin
i'd love one!
lol @ weaves for pubes...omg...lol
Just wandered over here from Kitty's place. Glad I did, I needed the laugh ;)
What a coincidence, same thing happened to me this weekend.
They tell you not to use that stuff near your genitals for a reason. I tried Nair on my balls once... once. Oh it removed the hair alright, but left me with a bright red, highly irritated pouch. I literally soaked my coin purse in cool water for relief.
Lol you are funny! That cut sounds hot, who knows you might start a trend. Hey my girl got me a pube comb for my bday, I will let u borrow it under the condition that you finish your pube removal process once your water is back on …
I need to scrub my brain with Comet now.
LOL!!
Watchya PP!!
As usual your blog has made my day!!
If you have a back yard I'd suggest laying on the ground with evenly applied hair removal cream then calling upon the Gods for rain.....
'Chemical reaction', see.....that's what happens when yer take drugs......
Bruce-No hot wax!!!!
Angel-Wouldn't be prudent!
Drowsy-Tee hee hee!
Sas-Thanks for stopping by!
Ron-You mean the hair on your vagina was screwed up too? :oP
Creepy-You poor man you!
Ms. Puddin-Some things are just not meant to share.
Diesel-Bleach works much better!
Pablo-Happy to here there Pabs!
Pink-Acid rain,chemicals,nah not a good idea.LOL
I'm almost speechless. Suck it up honey and go get that animal waxed. If you go to one of those Chinese women, you won't even know what she's saying about you in Chinese to her coworkers while she does it. That what I'd do...of course I go every few weeks to get my little little trap waxed anyway. There is NO excuse to let it get out of control like that. I'm extremely disappointed in you, Pre Po.
OMG I think it's entirely possible I might DIE from Laughing so hard! You SLAY me!
Stacie
Curious-What can I say,I am a lazy ass at times!
Stacie-Oh no! Please don't die girl!
Well I certainly regret putting all of these bean sprouts in my sandwich!
Rest assured I will avoid using any chemical applications while Manscaping.
Homo-LOL eat up!
A little franken-cooter! Hope your tank gets fixed soon!!!!!
G-man-I assure you,it looks much better now.
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